To the other guy

Who like so many guys in my life (I blame the fact I’m one of the boys and always work and play in a crowd of boys with maybe one other female) liked me, but didn’t ever have the balls to either do subtle hints of flirtation or similar, nor the balls to tell me.

This one told me. The day before my flight to Korea. On the phone. After 2 hours of strange pointless conversation that I knew wasn’t what he wanted to say.

It took him three years of seeing me almost every weekday, hanging out and having fun together in such a platonic way, to tell me “I should’ve told you ages ago that I liked you”

Then he knows I came back to Australia last year. He waits until two days before I return to Korea to ask to meet up. Dude. I have family. I have friends. I have planned my last two days already

This time he didn’t wait. But my mother needs me. I thought I’d have time after I came back from interstate but I don’t. I need to do so much around the house to help. Too bad. I don’t have any interest in any sort of future with you.

You are awkward and make me feel uncomfortable. Get some confidence in all aspects of your life. Stop obsessing about what you did or didnt do. I don’t need to find “some peace between us” like you apparently do. And meeting me won’t help. Stop obsessing. Stop thinking. Do.

I get so annoyed at all of the pussy guys throughout all of my pre-Korea life.

We were great friends. You are a good guy. But if you like me- tell me. Maybe I like you or I might consider the option of us dating (I.e put myself in the mindset d thinking of you as a potential love interest). Being my daily best friend and being amazing for two years and never doing or saying anything …that just makes me angry in the end.

Angry that you are weak and scared. Angry for the fact our friendship wasn’t what I thought it was (i almost feel betrayed or deceived) and angry at the fact that I may have been unwittingly leading you on and being cruel to you.

And these days I’m just angry at you for making me feel awkward, uncomfortable and obligated to help “fix” your perceived problems related to our relationship.

So no. I am not meeting any of you- including the ex best friend. You are not people I want to see. Nor will I overcome the awkwardness enough (because of the way i feel about your behavior) to ever want to see you in the future.

Just stop.