My mother

Turns out the growths (she had benign ones a year ago) are malignant this time.

Doctors say 5-10 years. 5 seems to be it. 10 is out of the ballpark.

She is having radiotherapy but doesn’t wish to have chemo. She also wants to be woken up from the operation if they discover the cutting and removal will leave her with a colostomy bag or unable to eat as normal.

So I’m kinda ignoring it. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to quit Korea and I don’t think any of my family want me too

But I did lay in bed last night and wonder what would be my “come home” moment. At this point I don’t have any except for immediate death.

I don’t want to give up my perfect situation that I have right now. But maybe there will come a time that if I am still in Korea I might have to take a six month break. Which means I might have to sacrifice an aspect of my life (be it apartment, job, location) on my return.

Not sure yet. But Accent and Casanova look to be moving on after two years (Feb 2014) so I will have a big assessment to do then too…when I lose my two closest friends.

I think now is too early. Two years is maybe early. Just have to judge how my mother goes.

Trying to figure out my “line”. I think it might be when I want to come home, rather than an obligation. But I’m afraid I won’t want to. And then my mother wont have me in her final time.